small_brown_man

Fromage

2005-11-04T13:08:00.000-08:00

I was hungry this afternoon, so l bought a bag of Doritos - the baked kind. They are quite delicious but messy - the cheese sticks to your fingers. I'm happily munching away one chip at a time. Betweeen each chip l would clean my fingers (this way l can continue to type away on my computer and remain productive). After about the 3rd chip and the 3rd finger cleaning, l abandon my attempt to have cheese free fingers. So, as l'm reaching for the last chip in my 60g bag, my boss comes over to introduce a Sr Manager who will be joining the project. She reaches out to shake my cheesy hand. At this point l have a couple of options. Shake her hand with my wrong (left) hand and be thought of as odd. Don't shake her hand and be thought of as an ass. And lastly, spend a few minutes to explain my predicament and be thought of as odd and and an ass.

When is a map not a map?

2005-10-21T13:17:00.000-07:00

Apparently when its a mercator map. If you want an accurate projection of the earths surface you should see a Peters Map - though the land masses look retarded it is accurate.
Have you ever wondered why the earth isn't represented upside down? We are in space, yet our view of the earth has always been one way - with North America and Europe on top. We have a geographical bias.

Karma-stition

2005-10-07T14:09:00.000-07:00

My mother has some strange superstitions, which have added to my anxiety.
I'm walking to work and l'm trying to avoid stepping on the cracks in sidewalk - because according to my mother stepping on the cracks would make her gravely ill. To anyone who sees me walking - it looks like l'm doing some strange ethnic dance or you might think l'm totally uncoordinated. But the fact that l could live with the guilt of making my mother gravely ill, l continue to proceed with the crack avoiding "walk".

Another superstition that l have inherited is that if you see money on the ground, pick-it up because if you pass by it, you will loose out on the big money later in life. This is fine, if you happen to come by ten thousand dollars but its a pain in the ass when its a penny. Today at the St. Geroge subway station, there was a penny on the stairs. The problem was, there were at least 100 "hurried" commuters behind me. So do l stop and pick up the penny and stop the flow of traffic and look like a miser or do l keep going and tempt fate? We'll l kept going and now l'm thinking about that penny that might be the financial downfall of me and my family. So from now on, l don't look down when l walk - this way l never have to make the decision.

Thanks Mom.

Petty - but thats me

2005-10-06T14:29:00.000-07:00

I noticed today that on the minutes that were sent out for a meeting l attended, my name appeared second from the last of the attendees. The list of attendees wans't alphabetical or by their height or by anyother measure. So that leads me to conclude that the person typing the minutes consciously thought of me second last. Why does that bother me?

I was walk into a building through a door, when l had my usual anxiety. Is the person behind me far back enough that l'm not expected to hold the door or are they close enough that l have to wait. I never know what to do and l'm probably the only person in the world who stress level increases they see a door. I've gotten to the point of speeding up so that l have created enough distance, and l don't feel the guilt of not holding the door.

I was trying to park my car today, when this reverse parker blocked everyone. Why is it that people have to reverse park? It takes a lot of effort and usually many tries and most annoyingly it blocks other people who trying to drive to the next spot.

There's always tomarrow.

Elevator Fustrations

2005-10-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

I hate people (hate is a strong word), so l will say l'm greatly disappointed in people who get on the elevator and press the next floor. One floor - take the stairs! This is why we have obesity problems - not MacDonalds.

I am also disappointed at people who get off on the wrong floor and then hurry back into the elevator (while the doors are crashing into them) and then proceed to explain why they got off on the wrong floor - noboday cares!

I am mildly disappointed with the people who lack coordination. They end up pressing 4 different floors before they get the right one - and of course they are all before the floor l get off.

I am disappointed with people who are rushing to the elevator to get on - only to miss it - and the last face they see is me trying to frantically hit the 'open' door button. I never hit the right button. THere is a 50/50 chance of hitting the correct button - and l never fail l get it wrong. These people think l have purposely closed the door on them and l hate them for that. I was trying - believe me!

Moral of the story - take the stairs or work and live in a low rise.